Jump in the truck!

It is true! Many of the things I've learned about being the kind of wife that God called me to be and that makes other envious I've learned from watching dogs.
Everyone one knows that the expression “Dog is a mans best friend“. Its really true. You don’t have to listen to a country western station very long to get the point that in many relationships the man misses his Dog more then the wife after a divorce. I have heard from more then one man that only his dog understands him, truly loves him, or is glad to see him when he gets home. I find these statements to be so, so sad.
Most men are truly just full grown little boys. They just need sincere encouragement, love, attention, fun and food and they are happy. Have you ever seen a little boy with his dog or puppy. Its sheer bliss on their faces as they spend hours together. Have you ever heard a man or boy talking about his dog? It is usually a brag fest. It goes something like this, “ Old Maxie he jumps so high he clears the fence and rides around in my truck and never barks. Last week he ran a rabbit down and almost caught him.“ The man again has this thrilled, proud look on his face fully confident that HIS DOG is the best. Now, This is where I explain to that sweet women who asked me my secret , that this same blissful look, this same certainty that his dog is the best dog in the world can be the way your husbands look at, talks about and thinks about you. It how Tom feels about me.

So How did I first come about this idea? I told you earlier that I decieded that I wanted to be the best wife I could be. Now many women will tell you this is ridiculous and that I need to get a backbone. They will tell you that a man should not need to be babied or catered to and if he does he is a wimp. That she has as much right to sit at a BBQ as he does. I guess the one who thinks this way has a right to feel this way, but I guarantee her if she just tried it for a few months she would find she is actually happier and he actually does more for her and with her then he ever did before.

You see at that same BBQ Tom did help with Kids but I never had to ask. It was never a issue between us. He was happy to help because he and I are so close.


So when I decieded to make Tom king of the castle. I thought about how I could do that. I read a few good christian books on being a good wife. They helped ! But they didn’t help me to see my husband clearly until one day.

I have a dear friend who has a rough marriage. They have rocky times and seem to bicker more then speak nicely. He wants her to go to his bike races, and triathalons. She doesn’t like standing out in the heat and keeping the kids busy while he is riding. So she doesn’t go. He bought a puppy for the kids a few weeks earlier but the dog was already his buddy. When Leonard opened the truck the dog wagged his tail and jumped in ready to go where ever he was going. No questions asked. He was happy to go because he was going somewhere with Leonard it didn’t matter where. The dog lay on the truck seat with his head on Leonard lap content, no questions, just happy to be together. Marcy wanted to get rid of the dog for various reasons a week or two later and I saw Leonard jump to the Dogs defence. No, I will keep him with me you don’t have to deal with him. Shoot I love that stupid dog. It was a simple statement but to me It was shockingly loud. I tried to remember if I had ever heard Leonard tell Marcy he loved her, ever? I could not. I tried to remember if I heard him say it to someone else. Nope. “I LOVE THAT STUPID DOG!”

He did, he really loved that Dog. He didn’t even mind that the dog had some stupid moments he loved him. WHY? I believe it was because the dog filled the need the man had for companionship. He wanted Marcy to want to come with him to events and races. He wanted her to want to be with him just like the Dog wanted to. He literally wanted her to be just like the dog, content to go where ever, a bike race, a triathalon because she wanted to be with him, because it was her joy to be with him. It is not the same if you go grumbling the whole way. Its not the same if you go and have a miserable time. Its not the same if you have to be begged to go. He wanted his wife to want to be with him with the same enthusiasm as his dog. If your husband wants you to enter his play, do it, joyfully. If he is going to Home Depot perhaps he would like your companionship for the drive without nagging him about future projects.

So I tried it the next day. Tom was heading to Staples to get a ink cartridge. I asked him smiling, if he would wait 5 minutes to comb my hair and get shoes on so I could go with him. He reminded me it was only a 30 minute trip. I said I know but I would love some alone time with you. He smiled and said, Ok. Getting in the car, I thanked him for letting me go reminding him that I loved being with him. We laughed and talked on the say to staples and purchased a few items. He suggested ice cream so we stopped there. I did not want the calories, but happily had a non-fat cone. On the way home he reached over and took my hand, and said, we should do that more often. BINGO! It had worked. He was happy!

A happy mans wife is excited to spend time with him.