A little detour from the norm. I was thinking about Thanksgiving. Many people I know are posting things on their facebook each day saying what they are thankful for until Thanksgiving.I am doing it too. It is always a great ideas to count your blessings.
When I thought about it I suddenly remembered a time in my life when intentionally finding the good in my husband saved our marriage. Yes thats what I said, it saved it.
You didn't think I learned all of this the easy way did you. There was a time many years ago that Tom and I were not doing so well as a couple. I don't want to go into details but bascially I was disenchanted by him. I had lost some of the love along the way.
The day I decided to fix our relationinship I realized that a big portion of my problem was not him, but me and my expectations of what I thought he should be as well as my inability to appreciate his gifts.
So, I began to make a list of all of Toms qualities, his gifts and good things he did and I gave thanks for them. I told myself I had to come up with 100 before I could stop. I got to about 10 and sort of got stuck for a day and I prayed to God to help me see my husband in a new light. So I got the idea to list little things. Numbers 11, 12, 13, 14 went something like this.
He doesn't pick his nose.
He likes my food.
He doesn't mind grilled cheese night.
He doesn't chew with his mouth open.
It was funny at first but a weird thing happened everywhere I went I saw men that picked their noses or chewed with their mouth open. I heard wives telling me they had to make big meals every night or their hubby was not happy. I realized these little things were not little, they were all important.
The farther on the list I got the more I had to pay attention to what he was doing and it causes me to see more and more.
He loves his children with all his heart.
He adores me.
He is sad because I am sad.
He never looks at other women.
Somewhere between 75-100,I fell in love all over again. I don't even remember what it was that caused us to go through the difficult months but I do remember the feeling of falling in love more deeply then ever before.
If your going through a time where the sparkle is gone, your having difficulties or the relationship feels flat, perhaps taking a few days to be thankful for all your husbands good qualitites would be just the thing to help you.
If this is one of my male readers why not do the same for your wife.
Wouldn't it be great to have the sparkle back by Thanksgiving.
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